The Metafari within

 It has been 4 months now since the last post in this blog.  What happened?
I was talking to a friend early this spring, and I expressed my struggle with finding a way to reach out with the Metafari, and also about how to find a way to describe the true offer of MetaSpace.

But, have you done your own Metafari?  If you want to sell it to others, have your really done the Metafari yourself?

From end of March until late May I was struggling.  Concerns about money, about competence, about the future, about becoming older.  It was all there and I  felt lost.  Talking with another wonderful friend she came up with a perspective.

I see you as sort of an Indiana Jones.  Always out in the world exploring new territory. But you are doing the exploration on the inside territory as well.

It took some time for me to accept that, but gradually I started to accept and like the idea of being "Indiana Josefsson".
All true exploration involves going outside of the comfortable and wellknown landscape.  It means going through unchartered territory, which sometimes can be a hot, humid, dense jungle where you have to chop your way forward with the machete, gaining inch by inch.
So I was fighting my way forward, step by step.  It was a tough journey, but with a realization that I was on my own Metafari.
Another aspect of this journey is the path towards becoming a Zen coach which I entered last year. The approach has included a mixture of Zen, Non Violent Communication (NVC), Focusing, the Diamond approach and created a way of coaching that includes acceptance of what is, body awareness, and a very strong support for the clients own path.
I had been looking for a certification path in coaching for quite some years and when I found the Zen-coaching a decided to join.
In my own coaching process I was searching for the essence of my feelings I was trying words to describe it such as feelings of Loneliness, abandonment and annxiety.

From a friend in Denmark I got a harsh comment.

I am interested in see what happens when you discover the power of your own stories in your own life and take charge of the stories. 

( ....)

Back to the 9 basic emotions of human beings: Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger, Fear, Jealousy, Love, Guilt, 

Hope,Lonelines, abandonment and anxiety are not on the list, so I guess they all are socially constructed.

All three of them belong to the psychoanalytical language where the stories are based on a trauma you have repressed and now works from your subconscious and have taken control of your whole life. I have noticed you use these kinds of descriptions of emotions and all the ocean of meaning that is connected to these words. I find them harmful, simply because they make it harder for you change your life.

I started to explore my true feelings.  Behind my reactions I found fear, a feeling of fear (just like I felt the in the plane on my way up for my second parachute jump in 2004). It opened my eyes, and in a couple of coaching sessions I entered into the landscape of fear.  Eploring it with daring curiosity I found no real danger, so I allowed it to be where it was, and left.  I will probably return when there is a need for it, but for the moment there is nothing to fear.
Bye bye fear!
And in this process I started to sleep well in the nights to wake up happy in the morning.
The purpose and offer of MetaSpace is also getting clearer inside me.  Describing this is where the next part of my journey is about.  Coming up!

ps.  Do you wonder about the image at the top?  My first IPad artwork, created with the App Drawing Pad
Inspired by Lars Triers wonderful film Melancholia.